An Innocent Love
by sparklin-strawberries
Summary: Grissom and Sara need to work out the past before beginning a relationship. Will be GSR eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**An Innocent Love**

A/N: This is my first ever GSR fic so constructive criticism would be hugely appreciated. I'm not entirely sure where this is gonna go but I have some ideas so if I get 5 reviews I'll update chapter 2. Anyways…enjoy!

Sara walked into the Grand Diamond banquet hall to find everyone already having a great time. _Great, they've already formed all their little social groups. _The entire graveyard shift turned to acknowledge her entrance. That is, all but the one who counted. Gil Grissom, looking amazing in his suit and tie, couldn't be bothered to even look at her, let alone say hello.

You see, when she got the memo stating that this was a formal- black-tie only- event, she had panicked. Sara was not a "prom dress" kind of woman. She was the "black pants and denim jacket at best" type. So, she had hauled her butt down to the local bridal shop and found _the_ dress. After that, everything else had fallen into place. The dress was a simple black with two white strips of ribbon meeting at her waist

She heard a wolf whistle that could only have come from Greg. After saying hello to everyone, he finally acknowledged her presence.

"You look great."

"I could say the same about you"

"Sara, can I talk to you?"

As she followed him over to the far corner, her frustration began to boil over. He had ignored her for almost two weeks. How dare he choose tonight, a night when they were supposed to be relaxed, to rehash the fact that he had kissed her.

**Flashback**

_**It had been a long shift. Grissom and Sara had been working a murder-suicide. It looked like the wife had stabbed her husband to death and then slit her own wrists. From the bruises and scars on her body they figured that she had been the victim of spousal abuse. Seeing how this case had affected Sara, he decided to comfort her.**_

_**"Sara, look, I know what-"**_

_**"NO! You don't know Gil! You have no idea what it's like to listen, every night, to the sounds of your dad beating the living shit out of your mom! You don't know what it's like to sit there, cowering, knowing that he's coming for you next! So don't you dare try to tell me that you understand!"**_

_**She was breathing so hard, her face was flushed with anger, and yet, to him, she'd never looked more beautiful. So, for once in his life, he allowed himself to be consumed by his baser instincts. He kissed her, and when she returned it, he deepened the kiss. He had never felt more passion and when it was over, they both had never felt a greater longing for each other.**_

"Oh, so _now_ I'm worthy of your attention am I?"

She was not going to make this easy on him. He had clearly made a very big mistake by ignoring her.

"Sara, you don't need to use sarcasm as a barrier to keep me out."

She shot right back and told him that he did that on his own. It was clear that she had no interest in talking to him. All he could do was walk away. Little did he know that all she wanted was for someone to fight for her. She crumpled up the piece of paper that she had intended to give to him that night. On it was a poem that she had written.

Stone By Stone

I have a wall you cannot see

Because it's deep inside of me.

It blocks my heart on every side

And keeps emotions there to hide.

You can't reach in,

I can't reach out.

You wonder what it's all about.

That wall I built that you can't see

Results from insecurity.

Each time my tender heart was hurt

The scars within grew worse and worse.

So stone by stone

I built a wall

That's now so thick it will not fall.

Please understand that it's not you,

Continue trying to break through.

I want so much to show myself,

And love from you will really help.

So bit by bit

Chip at my wall,

Till stone by stone,

It starts to fall.

I know the process will be slow,

It's never easy to let go

Of hurt and failures long ingrained

Upon one's heart from years of pain.

I'm so afraid to let you in.

I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to break the wall,

But seem to get nowhere at all.

For stone upon each stone I've stacked

And left between them not a crack.

The only way

To make it fall

Are imperfections in the wall.

I did the best I could to build

A perfect wall, but there are still

A few small flaws, which are the key

To breaking through the wall, to me.

Please use each flaw

To cause a crack,

To knock a stone off the stack.

For just as stone by stone was laid

With every hurt, with every pain;

So stone by stone the wall will break,

As love replaces every ache.

Please be the one

Who cares enough

To find the flaws, no matter what.

_-Grissom, I know I try to shut you out. But I am begging you to keep trying._

A/N: Well there it is…tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

**An Innocent Love**

A/N: Anyway, I know I haven't updated in forever but I couldn't figure out where to take this story. So, I bugged my favorite author to update and got the tables turned on me when she said at least she does update. So, here goes.

After leaving Sara behind, Grissom hadn't felt much like socializing. So, he made his excuses and left for some release on his coaster of the month, the Manhattan Express. Normally, when he was alone in the car, he would turn on some INXS or Guns 'N Roses, but tonight he rode in silence, thinking about this latest confrontation. He was confused as to why Sara acted one minute like she wanted to be close to him, and two minutes later, he was pond scum. He couldn't understand why she put such an effort into pushing him away, then got angry when he left. She was a constant puzzle.

GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR

She couldn't do this now. There was no way she could break down right here, in front of everyone.

"Uh…Sara, are you okay?"

Of course it was Greg. He was so sweet and it was obvious that he had a huge crush on her. He always cared -unlike a certain someone- about how she was feeling.

"Yeah Greg, I'm just not feeling to social I guess. Say good-bye to everyone for me okay?"

She got into her car and pumped up the Alanis Morrisette. Nothing like angsty, bitchy whining to get her mind off Grissom. She hated that every time he seemed remotely interested in her, he suddenly backed off. Sara knew she wasn't the easiest person to live with, but neither was he. She couldn't understand how she could still be in love with a man who had frustrated her for so many years.

She continued driving on autopilot and soon found herself sitting outside his townhouse. _How in the hell did I manage to end up here?_ There were lights on inside and She could see his figure moving around in the kitchen window.

GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR

Grissom had just arrived home and was beginning to make himself a toasted bagel for dinner. He looked out his window and saw a parked car outside the house. _That's odd, security doesn't usually stop here._ Then, just as suddenly, the car pulled away. He went on making his dinner, then a slip of paper caught his eye. It was the poem Sara had written as part of her therapy. In was the only real window he'd had into her past.

Evil has no easy explanation. 

Everyone is evil and is good.

Sometimes we watch ourselves do something evil

Frozen in a scream that's never heard.

We cannot stop ourselves, so we go on,

Knowing somewhere else the horror plays

And plays and plays until we are forgiven

Healed by someone's gift of unearned love.

When someone has been tortured as a child,

Evil, like a mad dog, crouches near.

One buries it deep in a vaulted, lead-lined chamber,

But zombie like it stalks the world within.

It's strange that darkened children need forgiveness

For evil that they suffer; innocent.

But guilt is the trademark of humiliation,

Burned into the flesh of memory.

Love washes over evil like an ocean,

Sweeping over seething, fisted anger,

Drowning it in cold, unquiet depths,

Leaving you weak and weeping on the strand.

I wouldn't be myself without the pain

That twists inside like penitential dancers,

Making me the stage of some strange beauty,

Like no one else, the host of your redemption.

Grissom read the sheet of paper over and over. Finally seeing the message that it held. She had written this to tell him that only his love could outweigh all the hurt. He knew now that all he had to do was love her. That was all she asked of him. He grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and walked out to the car. He knew where he needed to go.

A/N: I forgot the disclaimer in the first chapter and almost forgot it in this one. Anything/one that you recognize from the show obviously isn't mine. All the poetry, however is mine, if you want it, just ask first please. Feed my feedback addiction. FEED ME!


	3. Chapter 3

**An Innocent Love**

A/N: Thanks to my two lovely reviewers-BlueUltraViolet and csigirl46. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. For everyone else who is reading, just spend 2 mins and drop me a comment. I love them! And all the usual disclaimers apply. You think CBS would lend me Billy Petersen for my birthday?

He was amazed that he had actually gotten out of the car. Now all he had to do was go inside, get on the elevator and knock on her door. _Yeah, easier said than done._ He managed to get inside the building without any doubts; he even got up the elevator. But, as he was approaching her unit, the cowardly part of Gil Grissom started to shine through. He had already turned back twice and he hadn't even reached her door yet.

It had taken him ten minutes, but here he was, finally, right outside her door and raising his fist to knock. As Sara opened the door, the first thing he noticed was her poofy cheeks and blood-shot eyes. She swiped at her tears and invited him in.

"Sara, honey, what's wrong?"

"You blow me off and then show up here expecting me to tell you all my sob-stories? I can't believe you! Get out."

"No, Sara, you can't do this by yourself. Let me in and we can work through all of it together. I'm not going anywhere this time sweetheart."

She couldn't believe this. A few hours ago, he had been no more willing to have a personal conversation than a stone at the water's edge. Now, out of the blue, he decides that she should trust him with all of this. The internal battle was beginning to drive her insane. _This is crazy. How is it that without talking to him, and without calling for his help, he somehow managed to realize exactly what I want? He came right when I needed him._

"Sit down, I'll make us some cocoa."

They sat together in silence as they sipped her cocoa. When they were finished, she turned to him and told him what was up.

"I was going back through all of the newspaper articles from my parents, uh, my mom's, umm, my father's death. And then I started going through all the things I kept from my years in foster. You can't even believe to imagine what goes on in some of those group homes. While I was in the third placement, my foster-dad, he raped me. I was only thirteen years old. It continued to go on for a year before the social worker finally did something. But that year broke me. After that, all I thought about was suicide. I was ready to die. All I had left were my ambitions. So, I worked my ass off to achieve them. I was never happy in San Francisco. I worked this child rape case and was back in that same rut of depression. Then I met you. You were…are…you are my angel Gil."

He caught the distinction. He had never realized that he was **that** important to he life. He looked at her. She was shaking with sobs, trying to hold it all in. He wanted to pull her into him and try to absorb her pain, so he did.

Half an hour later they were still sitting there. The only difference being that Sara had run out of tears to cry. Suddenly, she sat up and walked over to a box on her kitchen counter. She pulled out a piece of paper.

"This is just a small example of how I felt back then."

She handed him the paper, on it, in her tidy scrawl, was another poem.

Can't you see?

Don't you care I want to die?

Don't you listen?

Can't you hear my silent cry?

Won't you turn?

Can't you hold me to your heart?

Are you afraid of what might happen,

Once you start?

Would you rather not believe

I'm in such pain?

That all you sense and good advice

Must be in vain?

Would you rather tell yourself

I'll be ok?

That all this adolescent angst

Will go away?

Ah! Will I also swim across

This lake alone?

But if you can't swim with me,

I know I'll drown.

It broke his heart to know that someone that he cared about this much, was put through all this pain. It killed him to picture a young Sara, unable to stop that sad excuse of a man from living out his twisted fantasies. He hated that he couldn't save her.

"This is what I was back then. But, then I met you and I can't stop thinking about how wonderful it is being near you. I'm not worried about the future anymore. I'm worried about now because Griss, I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of just plain good."

He took two steps toward her, leaned down and tentatively touched his lips to hers. It was the smallest of kisses, but nothing could have been more perfect. They broke the kiss and stared at each other. Sara touched her lips and then let out a huge yawn.

"You look exhausted. Let me tuck you into bed."

Sara nodded and walked him to her bedroom. She slid into bed and he wrapped the covers around her. She whispered his name so quietly that he almost didn't hear it. He looked into her eyes.

"Will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone."

"Of course."

Gil lay down on top of the covers right next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Get some sleep Sara, I'm not going anywhere."

For the first time, in a long time, they both slept peacefully. Nothing had felt more right.

A/N: For some unknown reason, this chapter came to me extremely easily. I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to let me know. Lots of Luvs.


	4. Chapter 4

**An Innocent Love**

A/N: I had a hard time writing another poem for this chapter, so I decided to put a song in instead. The lyrics are from Wind Beneath My wings by Bette Midler. Usual disclaimers still apply.

Sara was the first to awaken. At first, she was confused as to why she was wraped in the arms of someone else, then the events of the previous night hit her. She couldn't believe that she had broken down in Grissom's arms once again. The only difference was, this time she was glad she had. She had finally told him the truth. She loved him and there was no turning back. For the first time in over six years, she was certain that he understood how deep her feelings ran for him. She was also sure that the feelings were mutual. She got up and put on a pot of coffee.

Gil Grissom woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of someone playing guitar. He went out into the living room to find the source of the music. What he found was one of the most breathtaking sights he'd ever seen. There was Sara, sitting on the rug, still in her pajamas, hair slighly curled from sleep. He went and sat with her on the floor.

"Good morning, did you aleep okay?" He asked, watching her fingers dance across the strings.

"It was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time" She replied, smiling up at him.

Music was something she never shared with anyone. She despised singing in front of people, though her voice was alright. Yet, today, she was ready to sing for him. She began to play a song that truly explained how she felt.

**"Did I ever tell you you're my hero**

**You're everything I wish I could be**

**I could fly higher than an eagle**

**Cause you are the wind beneath my wings."**

All he could do was look at her. If he hadn't already fallen, he would fall in love with her right now. It was so hard for her to open up to anybody, yet, for some unknown reason, she had chosen him. He made the decision right then, he would no longer shy away from her, he would return all of her trust, ten times over. He would go to the ends of the earth just to make this woman smile at him. He loved her more than life itself, and would spend forever making up for all the lost years.

"I love you Sara." He didn't even hesitate when saying this.

"God, I hope so, 'cuz this would be really awkward if you didn't," she said this with all her usual sarcasm. She was back. "and, for the record, I love you too."

She was so glad that all that awkwardness was through with. They got up and made a celebratory breakfast together-chocolate chip pancakes and sliced strawberries. She was pondering what they could do with the rest of their day, when he voiced her thoughts.

"So, we have all day before we go back to work, what do you want to do?"

"You told me once that you played softball as a kid. Can we go to the batting cages?

When he pointed out that it was December, she informed him that it was perfect, there would be know one there. So, they got dressed and headed out to the local ball park. She bet him that she could hit twenty balls before he could. He, never being one to back down from a sports challenge, took her up on her bet.

GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR

"I so won that" Sara said while laughing at the look on his face.

"Honey, I was at twenty while you were at five." He said, a very smug look on his face.

She informed him that because he was an experienced player, it was his duty to pretend that she had won. His reaction was to laugh at her and just start walking toward the ice cream stand. Their agreement, of course, had been loser buys the ice cream. Grissom, being the gentleman that he was, bought anyway, while still rubbing he nose in the fact that she had lost so horribly to him. They walked away from the park, thinking how things couldn't be going better.

A/N: I know this is a short one but I might have another one by the end of the day. Any suggestions as to where I should take this? I have a plan, but it can be changed if someone gives me a better idea. Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5

**An Innocent Love**

A/N: I wrote this chapter yesterday, but the computer fairy was workin against me and wouldn't let me upload it. mutters mutinously I am hoping to update again tonight and that's it for two weeks because I'm going on vacation. Some of it will be boring, and during those lulls I plan to write. So I'll have a few chapters when I get back. Here it is.

That night, Sara and Grissom walked into the lab exactly five minutes apart, both with smiles on their faces. Catherine was first to notice the change in her female colleague. She wanted, so badly, to ask why Sara was acting like a kid on her birthday, but figured it was none of her business. It didn't make any difference what, or who, the cause of this good mood was, and it was certainly a change for the better.

Everyone noticed Grissom's sudden great mood. It had been so long since they had seen their boss smile that they figured he had forgotten how. His good mood became the topic of interest in the break room that evening.

The entire graveyard shift was sitting in the break room, waiting for assignments and discussing this change in character. Greg's theory was that he had finally gone and gotten all of the stress beaten out of him at Lady Heather's. Everyone else knew him well enough to know that that chapter in his life was long over. Nick and Warrick began to joke about how the boss-man had finally given up on his life of chastity and gotten himself laid. It seemed that only Catherine noticed that Sara was also in an unusually good mood. She decided that it was best to be tactful in this situation and not mention anything.

Grissom finally came in to give out assignments. It was an incredibly slow night. Nick and Greg got a DB at the Monaco Hotel. Catherine and Warrick got a missing person out in some hick-town west of the city. After they had all left, Sara inquired as to why they had not gotten any assignments.

"There were no other calls that came in tonight, so, you and I are on deck if anything comes in. Why don't we talk? You've bared your soul, now it's my turn."

They walked to his office, but instead of sitting on opposite sides of the desk, he pulled his chair around to the other side. Sara sat down next to him and looked at him curiously, wondering what he was going to tell her.

"Sara, I told you that I love you. I do. But there are things you need to know about me before we officially…er…well, I'm not the easiest person to live with, I get frustrated with cases and I forget plans…."He trailed off.

"See, Griss, the thing is, I don't care about any of that. I'm not exactly Miss Perfect and I **never** remember anything. I'm always late and I get emotional. The thing is, we can get through it. Think about how long we've known each other, okay? Now, think about how many times we have **ever** complained about any of these things. Never. That's my point. All of those quirks, they were all things that I fell in love with, when I fell in love with you."

Sara was one of only two people who could give him faith. She never ceased to amaze him, and that was one of the many reasons that he loved her. She always strived for his happiness.

He reached across to touch her cheek. Of course, luck was never on his side, so he missed and got her nose. She laughed and kissed his hand. He was so cute when he got flustered. He leaned across to kiss her, and luckily, this time had perfect aim. It was slow and sweet and perfect for the moment. The ringing of his office phone of course broke the moment.

"Come on, we got a 419 at the Desert Palm."

GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR

The sun was just coming up, and Sara was just walking into her apartment. This was the first chance in the last two days that she had time to process all that had gone on between her and Gil. _He seems to be really prepared to give us a real chance. I hope he's as ready now that he's having a chance to slow down and think._

She could never remember caring about someone this deeply. For the first time in her life, she wasn't worried about the person she loved walking away and tearing her apart. He would never do that to her. Not when they had waited this long to be together. He'd told her he loved her. She knew that Gil Grissom was not a man who threw the word 'love' around when he wasn't completely serious. She truly believed that the odds were in their favor.

GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR GSR

Gil Grissom walked into his apartment, his head spinning from the recent turn of events. He was still worried that all the things she saw as 'cute little quirks' would eventually morph into **huge** personality defects. It would never change the way he felt about her, but he was insecure about his shortcomings. For example, at fist, forgetting a date and accidentally working through it would be considered amazing dedication. Later on, missing a date would be viewed as him not caring about her.

He then realized something; _if I don't believe in this relationship 100 from the beginning, it will never work._ He decided right then and there to give his all to this relationship. Sara deserved his best and that would be what he would give her. And, come hell or high water, he would do anything to keep her happy.

A/N: I guess technically, this isn't 2 in 2 days because it's 2 am, but oh well. I couldn't sleep until I'd written another chapter. I need some reviews to show some appreciation for my sleep deprivation. Good night y'all!


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